My 3 Principles of Stress Reduction: Putting my words into Practice

Organization isn’t about perfection. It is about efficiency, reducing stress & clutter, and saving time & money, & improving your overall quality of life.

Christina Scalise
Some call it ‘organized chaos’…

There are many constants that I like to emphasize during my counselling sessions. Some are based on theory, some on personal or professional experience. Regardless of the presenting issue, I have three principles of stress reduction that I like to encourage all of my clients to embrace:

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And Just Like That, We Say Goodbye to 2018!

Another year has come and gone, most likely with some highs and lows. It can be very easy for us to “filter” and direct our focus on our most difficult times, but recalling the steps forward, regardless of whether they are significant strides or tiny steps, is always helpful in maintaining hope for the year to come.  And so, here is my Year in Review: the Good, the Not-So-Good and the Hopeful.

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We Want Your Stories! A Callout for Narratives about Experiences with Loved Ones with Dementia & Alzheimer’s

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In collaboration with Caron Leid, an international speaker and advocate, we are embarking on an exciting opportunity to publish a book about the narratives of caregivers and families who have experienced struggles with managing their loved ones with Dementia or Alzheimer’s.  Our vision is to share and inspire individuals who are also going through this experience and provide validation and support from people who have developed resiliency and strength throughout the process.

So this is an official CALL OUT to those who want to contribute to this project.  We are looking for written entries for our book that can reflect on various aspects of caregiving.  This can include topics such as grief and loss, compassion fatigue, self-care and self-compassion, and aspects of these diseases that cannot be found in textbooks.  In other words, we are looking for lived experiences.

Additionally, our hope is to not only compensate those whose entries are chosen for the book, but also forward a percentage of the proceeds to an exciting foundation that is in development as we speak, which will focus on helping caregivers receive the support that they need during this journey.

For more information or to submit your entry, please feel free to contact me or Caron.

#gettingreadyforchange: A one-day workshop coming to Georgetown!

My colleague, Uresha Salgado, and I are VERY excited to host our first workshop in the Georgetown area!

On Tuesday, August 14th, we will be having a one-day workshop for students transitioning from grade 8 to high school and are feeling worried or nervous about this change.  It will be a supportive group that will explore, process, and work through some of the common worries that occur during this time.

If you know of anyone in the Georgetown area that may benefit from this program, or for more information, contact me.  Depending on the number of referrals, there also may be a possibility to extend to another day at the end of August.

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It’s Exam Time!

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With the end of the school year approaching, there is always excitement about summer vacation.  But with this, is the seemingly gigantic obstacle that needs to be overcome before the bliss of sunny days and freedom: exams.  Your teen may be experiencing some anxiety about this time of the year because of the cumulative projects and upcoming exams.  You may see more irritability or expressions of stress and frustration rise in their words and their behaviour. Just remember that it’s only temporary and once that final exam is completed, the excitement of summer will return!

During this time, I always try to remind myself when working with my teenage clients that it can be a very stressful time.  I try to incorporate strategies to help in managing test anxiety, whether or not they believe they experience it. So, I wanted to share a few main points that I find to be helpful with surviving exam time:

1. Studying requires breaks! Our brains can only retain a certain amount of information before it begins to shut down on its own.  Therefore, even though we are entering into our third hour of studying, the likelihood of remembering is quite low.  So take those breaks to give your poor brain a rest, please.

2. When we “blank out” during exams, it is usually not because we are unprepared.  It is usually because our anxiety is so high that it is interfering with our ability to remember.  If this is the case, it is important to enter the exam environment in a calmer state.  Right before the exam, put away the notes (you’re not going to learn anything new in the next few minutes) and focus on relaxation.  Sit and listen to your favourite song, sketch in your sketchbook that you haven’t used in a while, watch a television show.  Bring your anxiety down from a 10 to a 7. It will make a big difference.

3. Try to reframe your thoughts if they are negative.  If you think that you are going to fail, remind yourself of the good (or “okay”) marks you have received in this class so far this semester. Instead of focusing on what you still don’t understand, think of the things that you studied and know backwards and forwards.  If you think that it will be a long and grueling process, remind yourself that you will be on summer vacation in less than a week.  This time tomorrow, this class will be done and over!

4. Before you start writing anything down on your exam, read over all of the questions and take a deep and slow breath. Exhale all of the worries and remember all of the work that you have put forth to get there.

5. Get a good night’s sleep and eat something small before the exam.  Fatigue and exhaustion will make it very difficult to focus, formulate your thoughts, understand the questions, etc.

6. Once the exam is over, IT IS OVER. Don’t spend too much time thinking about the questions and whether or not you got this one right or that one wrong.  Leave it in the classroom and take the night off if you can by doing something enjoyable.

7. If you feel panicked or anxious before your exam, remind yourself that it’s normal to feel this way.  It may not mean that it is because you are going to fail. But it is definitely a reflection of your desire to do well, which means it is important to you.

Below is a link to a pdf file that has a lot of helpful strategies to prepare for exams and write them.  I give this to my clients all the time, even if they are not worried about their exams.

https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Test_Anxiety_Booklet.pdf

Good luck to all and I hope this post was helpful to you!!

Talking to your Child or Teen about Tragedy

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Wishing that our children can be free of tragedy and sadness (Photo Credit: Teresa Sumerfield Photography)

It seems like more and more frequently, we find ourselves bombarded with media coverage about tragedies that occur randomly and unexpected.  School shootings.  Bus accidents.  Innocent children and youth dying. Acts of violence towards strangers.  Sometimes, watching the local news can be more terrifying than the movies and television shows we “responsibly” use our parental blocks to shield our children from the horrors of computer animation and gratuitous gore and bloodshed.

It is not surprising, then, that our young ones are becoming increasingly anxious about arbitrary and general and unspecific situations.  We may wonder why our sons and daughters are worried about practically everything and we may try to comfort them by telling them that they have nothing to worry about.  However, in my work with children and youth, although this interaction is, at best, full of positive intentions to support and help, it is often viewed as minimizing and insincere.  It can also send the message that these feelings are not okay or “normal”.

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The Stress of Being a Caregiver

Before I became a Social Worker, I wanted to be a teacher.  And before I wanted to be a teacher, I vaguely remember wanting to be a banker or a cashier.  When I was 12 years old, my father, who was a financial controller for a business firm, suffered a brain injury, called encephalitis, which was a swelling in the brain.  He lost his ability to speak and express himself in coherent words.  He lost his ability to recall how to do basic functions of self-care.  I watched my mother transition from a secondary provider to the primary provider, as well as, a caregiver.  I observed her stress levels increase and her physical health deteriorate because of it.  My father never really recovered.  I think we, as a family, just learned to adjust to the new language he spoke and the reminders that he needed on an everyday basis.  We observed him become progressively more irritable and frustrated because of his inability to communicate his thoughts effectively.  My mother’s hypertension and angina were often affected with the added stress that my father’s sudden change in presentation and needs brought to the family.

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Exciting News and Services!

I am very excited to announce that I am now able to provide direct billing for clients who are covered for Registered Social Workers with GreenShield Canada and SSQ Financial Group!  For more information, please feel free to contact me.

 

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Supervision Services & Consultation

I am also excited to begin providing supervision services and consultation for Registered Social Workers.  Services will be available via telephone, video consult, or in person in Orangeville or Georgetown.

Contact me for more information!

Self-Compassion: The Power of Loving Ourselves

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It is officially the “day of love” – it’s Valentine’s Day.  For some, this is a very important time to spend with loved ones and celebrate our relationships and connections.  For others, this can be a difficult day, especially if we feel disconnected or alone.  I am a firm believer that Valentine’s day is simply just a day, and that if we value our relationships with others, whether romantic, familial or platonic, we should celebrate this everyday.  But one relationship we tend to forget most is the relationship that we have with ourselves.

 
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Review: “Not Alone: A film about teen suicide and depression”

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I found this documentary on Netflix randomly but found it profoundly inspiring.  Here is the back story: This documentary is lead by Jacqueline Monetta, who initially shares her story about the tragic and unexpected loss of her best friend to suicide.  She shares that she engaged in her own self-reflection.  She described, in her own experiences, the stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance.  And she began her journey to give other youth who have struggled with depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts a voice to share their stories of pain and resiliency.  The documentary captures Jacqueline interviewing survivors of past suicidality and depression, who share their diverse stories of loss, trauma, guilt, self-hatred and shame.  She also focuses on ways that these beautiful individuals found their strength and their hope.

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